October 02, 2005

WT2

I am worried about what will happen when I go home over break.  I want to spend a lot of time with Scott but I am afraid that he will not want to spend as much time with me.  I am afraid of meeting clare and I am afraid of making her mad.  I want Scott to pay more attention to me but I know he is doing all he can.  I am afriad of STD's and pregnancy.  I am worried about if I should decide to graduate early. I am worried about what I am going to do for a career.  I am afraid that Scott is going to have sex with Clare and not tell me.  I am afriad that he is holding something back from me.  I am worried that I am going to become anti-social.  I am afraid that people think I am a loser.  I am worried about the drama in AST.  I am worried about Sarah and her drinking.  I am mad that I had to clean up after her.  I am annoyed that the room is not clean.  I am afraid to tell Scott how I really feel about him.  I am afraid that I will scare him away.  I worry about when he doesn't call.  I am afraid to say goodbye first in case he has something else to say.  I miss him so much.  I am worried that I will have anxiety forever and won't be able to deal with it.  I am worried that I don't know myself very well anymore.  I am worried that Scott won't want to work at camp next summer.  I am worried that I won't be able to work there.  I am worried about how I just want to settle down and have a family.  I am worried that that might not be what I want.  I am worried that there will be competition between me and clare.  I really want her to just give in and stay away from Scott but I want him to be happy and I want us to be able to make this work.  I want to find a guy I can talk to and hang out with.  I am worried that I will be alone for the rest of my life.
Posted by Jeni at 15:44:47 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |