September 06, 2005

the sinking feeling

So I have been here at college for a week and it has been quite interesting.  I haven't been eating right and i feel like I am screwing myself up with worry and nervousness.  At first I thought that I didn't want to be here, but now I think it is more that I have a social anxiety.  I like hanging out with people but I have a hard time motivating myself to actually do it and then I spend a lot of time being afraid of it.  I don't really have many "sisters" that I want to hang out with so i spend most of my time in my room.  I get this sinking feeling almost every night when i am getting done with my homework and I want to talk to my boyfriend but I know he will be busy and I have nothing else to do but either try to hang out with other people or just hang out with myself.  I think maybe I have really isolated myself in thsi sorority.  I have friends outside but I don't reach out to them much.  Plus I am really very busy.  I should call Mel more often.  I need to just enjoy the time that I am here.

Posted by Jeni at 01:52:04 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |
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